...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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