We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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