8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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