Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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