No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
