I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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