Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
