so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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