I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
