I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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