ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize