I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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