could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
