I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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