Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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