I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
