omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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