he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
