Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
