this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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