Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
