I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
