So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
