yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it was like eating out sand paper
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
