So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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