it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
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Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
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Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The cops high fived after they tackled you
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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