Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She's not a foreskin expert like you
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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