Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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