we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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