You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
