Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize