Me. At least after what I've been through.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
