you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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