found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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