i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
