I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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