The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
