They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
