Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude i'm inner monologue high
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
