Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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