When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
