Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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