Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
