if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
sarcasm needs its own font
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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