My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
