Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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