my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
