i don't like sucking hair
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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