ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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