i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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