"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
