So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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