Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
