Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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