Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
