Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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