Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
