what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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