just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
