a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
