Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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