things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
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Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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