I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
