your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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