My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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