Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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