it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
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You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
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Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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