I smell stomach acid.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
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I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
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her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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