The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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