1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize