I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's blow job season.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
